The making of The Care Worker - a tribute

In 2012 I found myself at a crossroad in my life. I had just left a job in retail and wasn't quite sure what to do. A friend of mine suggested care work. I thought he was crazy. Never the less, I thought 'what have I got to lose?' and I applied as a domiciliary care worker with a company called C&S Care Services Ltd. I attended an intense one week training programme and I was hooked! I haven't looked back since.
Sure, there have been times when I have doubted myself and questioned why on earth anyone would want to do this as a job. One of those times came not too long after I had moved into residential care. I had been on an evening shift, it was all going swimmingly. One of our long term residents, who had fairly high needs and at this point was unable to walk or talk, surprised us all. Not long after tea, she stood up out of her wheelchair, and she asked me if she could go home with me that night. Amazing! Miracles do happen after all. From what I can recall, she asked all of the carers similar things that evening. The rest of the shift ran smoothly, a rare occurrence in a care home as I'm sure many of you know.

9pm rolled around and it was time to start our routine bed checks. Myself and one other member of staff started and then suddenly, I heard the scream of my co-worker down the corridor. My heart was in my mouth. The emergency buzzers were ringing in my ears. I ran down the corridor, preparing myself for what I was about to face. When you're in a situation like that, your brain and body go into autopilot, you don't think, you just DO. We worked tirelessly on our beloved resident until the paramedics arrived but it was too late.
After the paramedics left, I found myself sat in the staff room, with my head in my hands, tears rolling down my face wondering if there was anything more we could have done. I felt in my heart that she knew she was going to die and that was why she had asked if she could go home. I was devastated, we all were.

Myself and the member of staff that I had worked with that night, had also been involved a few months earlier with the resuscitation of another resident. I didn't know how to cope then, and I didn't know how to cope now. I seriously questioned if this was for me.
It took a few days before I could think clearly, you don't leave those kinds of images at the door when you go home, they stay with you. What you saw, how you felt, it doesn't leave you..ever.
So I was sitting at home one evening, trying to think how I was going to get past this, and then it came to me, just all of a sudden, I needed to get my feelings down on paper.
And thus came the poem 'The Care Worker'. I wrote this for all of my colleagues, my friends and my family, because that is what they had become. A part of my life that I loved and cared for like the family I had grown up with.

The Care Worker

I wake them up, I get them dressed,
I brush their hair so they look their best.
I make their bed and wash their clothes,
The little things that no-one knows.
I hold their hand when they are scared,
I talk to them when no-ones there.
I give them a friend when they are alone,
I treat them like family, like one of my own.
And when its time to save a life,
I keep my heart strong, and hold my head high.
I wait 'til its over, when everything's done,
When the house has gone quiet, the emptiness comes.
So please don't' judge me, when you think I don't care,
I look after your family, when you are not there.

Written 19th December 2013